My husband is an idiot.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the children’s story ‘Jack and the Beanstalk.’ Well, boys and girls, here’s a little story I like to call ‘Jack and the Power Washer’, or ‘The Idiot and the Industrial Strength Machine He Should Not Have Used Since He’s An Idiot.’ And it goes like this.
Once upon a time there was an Idiot named Jack who wanted to power wash his house so he borrowed a very, very big, very, very powerful industrial strength Power Washer from a Professional who performed that task for pay. The Professional was an Idiot too, of course, because he lent it to Jack, who was an Idiot. When he was done with the house, Jack decided that he needed to power wash his dirty, filthy sneakers with the industrial strength power washing machine. The only problem was that Jack, who was an Idiot, was still wearing the sneakers at the time. Poor Idiot Jack. Because of the sheer force of the water, and the point blank range, Jack couldn’t control the industrial strength Power Washer and he missed his sneakers entirely and power washed his right leg!
Everything turned out OK for poor Idiot Jack because even though he ripped the skin clear off his leg, the 3200 PSI of water immediately cauterized the open wound and there was no blood at all! Isn’t that fascinating?
The Moral of the Story is this boys and girls: Never let an Idiot do what the Professionals get paid for. The End.
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