The Birdman of Alcatraz

The other morning as I was letting my dogs out, I could hear a Woodpecker in my yard.  As I ventured towards the trees to see if I could get a closer look, a thought occurred to me.  Who named that bird?  I mean, Wood Pecker for a bird that pecks wood?  It seems fairly obvious, no? 

There are Sparrows, Owls, Robins, Wrens and Cardinals, to name a few.  Why is the Woodpecker the only bird named for what it does?  For instance, why don’t they call Hummingbirds “Fastwingflappers” and Ostriches “Sandheadstickers?” It's an outrage.

I decided I'm going to send an e-mail to that Autobahn guy and tell him to stop worrying about cars in Germany and start working on renaming the Woodpecker.  Oh, and the Swallow too.  The people from Capistrano can get a new song.