It seems to me that if we can send pictures from one cell phone to another by simply clicking them together, someone should be able to invent a device that assesses a person’s age when they enter a supermarket, and if they are determined to be over the age of 85, opens up a portal in the floorboards and drops them in a holding room where someone under the age of 25 takes their pocketbook and list and does their shopping for them. Because with the way it is now, I’m not sure why the homicide rate in the checkout lane isn’t off the charts.
The other day I was waiting in line to pay. The old bat in front of me had an enormous amount of food she was unloading from her cart. When she was finished she politely put the divider on the conveyor belt. But before I could unload my stuff she put down a jar of mayonnaise. Really? A second transaction for a jar of mayonnaise? I wanted to bludgeon her with her canned ham.
And can someone please tell me why old people insist on waiting until their entire order is rung up before they start rooting around in their purses for their checkbook? Is there some law I don’t know about that prohibits them from filling in some of the information while the cashier is still tallying it up? I actually cursed at one old lady when she asked what store she was in. And if they’re using cash, can’t stores post a sign somewhere that says “No pennies?”
A few weeks ago the fossil in front of me, with her 39 items in the 20 items or less lane, turned, walked past me, away from the register and started trudging aimlessly towards the foot care aisle. I looked imploringly at the cashier who shrugged her shoulders and told me that the old broad had forgotten something and that she was just going to run back and grab it. Run? That old bat hadn’t run since she tried to get a look at Calvin Coolidge at his inauguration. She should have been yelled at in her good ear. And the cashier should have been run over with a cart, just for good measure.
The next Governor that puts ‘Public Hangings at Noon For Supermarket Infractions’ on his platform gets my vote.
No comments:
Post a Comment