Clothed and Dangerous

My husband told me about a new reality show he just started watching called Naked and Afraid.  Gee, I wonder what caught his eye.

Let me give you the overall premise of the show.  Two people, a man and a woman, dropped in a remote, seemingly uninhabitable, dangerous location where they have to survive for 21 days.  They have to forage for food and devise crude shelter from the elements.  Naturally, there are poisonous snakes, spiders and every other vile creature indigenous to the area.  Each participant is allowed to choose one item to bring with them. The only time I watched the show the woman had a cup and the man had a pocket knife.  How WILL they survive?

Oh, and they’re naked.  Other than the obvious appeal to men, I’m not really sure what this adds to the difficulty of their journey.  I know it didn’t do anything  for me because first of all, all they show you is a lot of ass and since I already see plenty of that at the grocery store, it held no interest for me.   Secondly, the 40ish man had a few more spare tires than I cared to look at.  The 22 year old girl must have felt the same way because she appeared unconcerned with amoebic dysentery, snake bites or starvation because she immediately began fashioning clothes for her companion from reeds and leaves.  I’m surprised she didn’t borrow the pocket knife and gouge her eyes out. 

I don’t care for reality shows in general, especially survival ones like these because of the presence of the film crew recording their every move.  In a society where people sue McDonald’s because they’re too stupid to know that they shouldn’t put scalding coffee in their crotches, are we expected to believe that these people are in any REAL danger?  When the beleaguered contestants are "foraging for food," what exactly is the crew doing?  And where are they sleeping and eating?  On the episode I watched, it was supposedly 9 days before "Adam" and "Eve" had anything to eat.  And all they caught was a tiny snake that was able to sustain them for a few more days.  Am I expected to believe this?  What do you want to bet there’s a Sheraton pretty close by every “uninhabitable” location where the camera and lighting guys hang out after they’re done hiding rib eye steaks in the trees and Pellegrino under rocks in the river.  And the crew is probably eating Jerk Chicken, poolside, while they watch these two nuts on 24 hour web cams in case something goes wrong.  Because my guess is if any of these “survivalists” gets in any real trouble, they’d be whisked out of there before you can say “Who Wants To Be A 

Millionaire.”    

Frankly I think all these shows are a bunch of hogwash.  You want a real naked survival test?  Try taking a walk down the nude beach in Sandy Hook, NJ without laughing.  Or if you’d rather have a challenge with your clothes on, drive the New Jersey Turnpike on a Friday afternoon in the summer without flipping someone off.