World War I Don't Think So

Have you seen the previews for the new summer blockbuster World War Z?  I did.  In one clip I heard someone refer to Brad Pitt’s character as Jerry. 

Brad Pitt is not a Jerry; just like he’s not a Buford, an Ernie or a Wilfred.  If he were born a Wilfred he and his wife would be called Wagnes instead of Brangelina because for sure Angelina Jolie wouldn’t have looked at him twice.  

Tom Cruise is also not a Jerry, aka Jerry Maguire.  He’s a lunatic, but he’s not a Jerry. 

The name Jerry is reserved for silly looking, comedic Jerry-types like Lewis, Springer and Seinfeld.  If Jerry Lewis had been born with the name Joe, he’d have done a lot fewer telethons and been cast as Prince Charming instead of Cinderfella.   He also would have gotten all the women and Dilbert Martin would have been on the outside looking in. 

Only certain people can play a Jerry.  Paul Giamatti could be a Jerry.  So could Ty Burrell.  Brad Pitt is not a Jerry. 

If Jerry was Brad Pitt’s name at birth, things would have worked out a lot different for him in movies.  Thelma and Louise would have driven over the side of the cliff with him strapped to their bumper.