Let's Hear Some Noise

What is it with golf anyway?  No one in the crowd can make any noise?  During the PGA tournament last weekend I actually saw pro golfer Jim Furyk turn around and point menacingly at a fan who made a comment just as Jim made contact with the ball.  Is Jim Furyk supposed to put the fear of God into anyone?  Have you seen him?  Honestly, this man could attend the Purdue family picnic and win the Best Looking Chicken contest.  Similarly, a few months back, Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods engaged in a nasty verbal exchange because Tiger removed a club from his bag during Sergio’s back swing, making a noise.  Sergio felt Tiger did it on purpose.  All this bluster from a Spaniard whose country routinely hangs their dogs from trees after the hunting season is over.  Perhaps Sergio should be hung from one of the Magnolias at Augusta National the next time one of his balls goes in the cart path.   

During tournaments, officials hold signs that say “Quiet” and make announcements that no pictures are to be taken.  One broadcaster, who is out in a booth behind one of the greens, actually whispers.  Why is that?  My husband says it’s because it’s a “Gentleman’s Sport.”  Really?  How gentlemanly was it when Tiger Woods cheated on his wife and ended up with a Nine Iron in his ear?  Most recently Tiger was reported to have been falling down drunk at a party with his new girlfriend.  Truthfully I could not care less.  Let’s just cut the pretense and stop putting golfers in a higher class than other athletes.  Are we really expected to believe that Tiger Woods is the only pro golfer who behaves like this?  I doubt it.  The only reason we only hear about Tiger’s indiscretions is because no one in the viewing audience gives a rat’s patootie about the rest of the golfers on the tour. 

If the PGA wants to move golf into the mainstream sporting arena, the first thing they have to do is ban the players from wearing pink pants.  And I’m talking about when it’s NOT National Breast Cancer month.  Then they need to allow hecklers, give fans objects to wave when crucial putts are being made and encourage the throwing of water bottles at the player’s heads. 

Golf spelled backwards isn’t FLOG for nothing you know.

Then they have to  get rid of the sissies.  Honestly, what other sport has players named Keegan, Boo, Rory, Charl and Brandt.  Oh and Graham DeLaet.  I thought he was a dessert plate.