Tuesday, July 3, 2012

How Convenient For Me

I once saw in very small type the following, which was printed on the bottom of my restaurant bill:  For your convenience a 20% gratuity has been added to your bill.  Can somebody explain how that is convenient for me?  What if the waitress had bad breath and stuck her thumb in my soup and I only wanted to leave her 10%?  What if I found a band aid in my cole slaw and didn’t want to leave anything?  How about if the restaurant paid the workers minimum wage instead of $2 an hour?  Then I wouldn’t have to tip them at all and not feel bad about it.  Now that would be convenient. 

Actually, if you want to talk real convenience I have a suggestion:  The restaurant should send the chef to my house with the raw ingredients so he can prepare the meal in my kitchen.  And he has to clean up the mess too.  Then he can set me up behind a tray in front of  the TV show “Wings” so I can watch vintage 1993 Tim Daly; fix me a drink, cut my meat and let my dogs in from the yard.  Now that's real conveniece. 

Oh, and on his way out he can grab my Netflix movie off the kitchen counter and drop it in the mailbox. 








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