A Tiger in the Woods

I will watch pretty much any sport on TV. 

I turned on the Greenbriar Golf Classic yesterday but when I realized that Tiger Woods didn't make the cut on Friday I turned it off.  Let's face it, the guy is good for the game because he always has the potential to win.  It's why everyone jumps on the Yankee bandwagon in November; everyone loves a winner.  

I started to think about what happened to Tiger a few years ago and I thought:  why does anybody really care what he did or with whom?  I certainly don't.  We as a nation are obsessed with the goings on of celebrities, sports figures and politicians.  As far as I know Tiger isn't concerned with the state of my marriage so why should I care about what he does in his spare time (which would be a very funny joke if he was a championship bowler).  I like to watch the guy play golf.  End of story.  What he does when he puts away one club and takes out the other is strictly his business.  But because we sensationalize it, all those women he was fooling around with will probably make millions off of it.  Hey wait, does anybody know if he likes Fat and 51?  I'll throw my hat in the ring.

If I were Tiger's Public Relations advisor I would have told him to come out the day after they removed the golf ball from his ear and say 'Hey America, I like to have sex with women.  All kinds of women.  And I'm gonna have as much sex with as many women as I possibly can cram into one lifetime.  And I'm gonna play golf too because I'm the best there is at it.  And if you don't like it, you don't have to watch me.  I'm not apologizing to any of you people for what I did.' 

Then he should have posed for Playgirl.

Yup, that's what I would have told him.