To Breed or Not to Breed

The older I get the more reflecting I do.  I think about the fact that I have 5 dogs and 1 child.  I try to figure out why I'm not more maternal and what the benefits are to having a lot of children.  I think I've figured it all out.  Therefore...

Here are the 3 reasons why people should have kids:* 

When they turn 17 they can drive to the convenience store and pick you up ice cream.

When they turn 18 they can drive to the convenience store and pick you up ice cream and cigarettes.

When they turn 21 they can drive to the convenience store, pick you up ice cream and cigarettes and then head over to the liquor store and pick you up a couple of limes and some Belvedere.

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My daughter once said to me the following - "Be nice to me, I'm picking your nursing home."

See what I mean?

*These reasons apply to residents of New Jersey.  Please check the driving, drinking and tobacco purchasing age restrictions in your state before applying.